Tony's Rules

-do NOT under any circumstances hold up a book or magazine to read it while sitting in the passenger seat, it may obstruct his view when he tries to change lanes at a moment's notice for no apparent reason.

-do NOT use any skincare/body product with any sort of fantastic moisturizing quality because he may slip on it drunk in the shower.

-do NOT put lotion on my dry feet at night because it may come off and stain the sheets when I get into bed.

-do NOT ever EVER ever leave a blanket laying on the couch for any length of time, it must be folded and in a cupboard where he can't see it.

-do NOT have feet, they gross him out.

-do NOT use any wonderful little free samples I may obtain of bath and body products because the container may be knocked (by him) into the drain and then I will have to pull it out of the drain using a butter knife and a band-aid while naked, wet and late for work, while he stands over me and watches until I scream at him like a nutjob to get the FUCK OUT OF THE BATHROOM AND QUIT WATCHING ME WHILE I AM NAKED AND SQUATTING IN THE TUB.

-do NOT drink a soda out of the can unless you drink the whole thing or else he gets very upset.

-do NOT talk on my cell phone (or look at it to text message or read emails) for more than 5 minutes ESPECIALLY if we are on the go. If we are at home, it is okay, but when we are going somewhere I have to be on full alert at all times in case he needs anything. If I do get on the phone he inevitably needs me to do something right away.

-do NOT watch reality shows, even if he isn't around because it annoys him that they exist and that people like them.

I will think of more. Don't worry.