napalm nightmare

So I had a very disturbing dream last night. I kept half waking up and going back to sleep and the dream just continued all night. I will see how much I can remember of it.

In my dream... things in parenthesis are my notes, not part of the dream...

We lived near my friend Gene (Tony and I have known him forever, since we were teenagers) in the same building (in reality he lives 2 hours away) and he told Tony that he had some napalm. Tony wanted it really bad and I didn't want it in our house because I was afraid of it. Gene kept trying to tell Tony that we shouldn't take it because it was really dangerous but Tony didn't care and HAD to have it. This canister was one of only 18 left in the entire world, after those canisters there was no napalm ever again. So Gene went home and then Tony and I just went in our place to do whatever and pretty soon we heard a huge commotion and there was a big crowd of people around the steps of our building (which kind of looked like a school, big long wide stairs the width of the building, not a little stoop) but not like they gathered for a reason, just like they were wandering about doing their own business, going in and out of the building, stopping to chat, etc. So Gene comes barreling through this crowd in his underwear and everyone kind of stops to stare because he is just storming through and he comes to Tony and I (we are magically in front of our place now and not inside anymore) and he sets down a canister and says something about how if Tony has to have this SO BAD then he can have it but that this is a really bad idea. Gene goes back to his place and we go in our place and Tony sets the canister down in our hallway. The canister has no lid and is filled about half-way with dull gunmetal colored metal balls of varying sizes, all about the size of a pea or a ball bearing. 

So Tony goes off into another room and I am drawn to this stupid can of napalm and I don't want to be and I am TERRIFIED of it but I can't stop fucking around with it. The next thing I know I have a huge mouthful of the little spheres and I realize that they are in my mouth and I freak out and Tony is there now and telling me it is a Very Bad Idea to put them in my mouth and I know this and I am so scared about it and so I try to gently spit them out all over the carpet and every few minutes I realize another little ball is still in my mouth (I know me saying BALLS are in my mouth is funny, but I don't know what else to call these things) and I keep spitting them out and then it happens again, I feel another one in my mouth still and I finally get them all out. 

I go into the other room where Tony is and tell him my mouth is burning and then we are in a bathroom and I am so flipping out inside but staying calm and I just keep spitting into the sink and blood and black stuff is coming out and I am sure that it is from way down deep (not my mouth, like stomach or lungs or something is what I thought) and it is scaring me. I just keep spitting and wondering what is going to happen to me and it hurts and I am devastated.

I go back into the other room and see that Amber (our cat) is batting around the balls I spit out and I am like NO!!! and I was freaking out again and she bats one and it hits another one and it kind of disintegrates and a big 6 foot tall cloud of powder comes out (not a thick cloud, a really misty light one, not dense). I am so scared and I don't know if that cloud is going to, like, kill everyone in my town or make my house explode or kill us or do nothing.

From here on out all of my memories of the dream get spotty. I remember going to some rich guy's mansion and standing on the balcony next to Tony and the guy asked me if I needed help and when Tony looked away I said NO I AM FINE but I was nodding yes and my eyes were all wide so he could see I needed help but couldn't say anything in front of Tony (I have no idea why). So Tony leaves and the guy introduces me to his live in housekeeper and tells me her name and that she is friends with Consuela and I asked him who that was and everyone there, the housekeeper, the guy and his daughter, basically told me I was a jerk because Consuela was my family's housekeeper that has lived with us for like 20 years and I don't even know her name and I was like oh whatever who cares what her name is or that I don't know it (which is totally fucked up and Tony's family housekeeper of 20 years is amazing and I love her and she is even coming to our wedding, so I would never feel that way but that is how it was in the dream).

I went with the guy into his bedroom to go on his computer (he had tons of Mac computers all over his house) and the screen was like the size of a headboard and was behind his bed like that so I had to lay on my stomach on the bed to see the whole screen because it went behind the bed to the ground and I was trying to search for napalm and the effects and I couldn't get any search results no matter what I did. Then I was complaining to him that it must be nice to have computers and he was like "you have 2 at your house" and I was like "but they aren't Mac" and he said "Oh, okay" (we have 2 computers in real life and they are both Mac). 

The last thing I remember in the dream is that I had to walk around these huge lawns of giant mansions from lawn to lawn and they were separated by huge rows of bushes.

I kept waking up all night and was so disturbed by this dream and I finally just got out of bed and googled napalm because I had to for some reason and I read all about it. 

I wonder why I had this crazy dream, and why it was centered around napalm...? Weird!