lucky

I was just thinking about how lucky I am to have had so many amazing people in my life. I could have written a similar letter (like the Clementine one) to maybe 30 people in my life. I know people that don't really have many friends, or they have only had one or two really close friends in their lives. I have had so many. Even the friendships I have had that ended in betrayal or anger were really fantastic at one point, I learned things about myself and had a ton of fun. At any given point I usually have about 2-4 best friends and 20 really super close friends and about 50 good friends and hundreds of other friends I see on a yearly basis. Most of my friends have the same situation. We are all so lucky. I am so grateful. 

Moving to LA was so hard for me, for many reasons. I don't think I could have stayed here if it wasn't for Reagan, she really helped me through so many things. I really needed that. Later in the game came Clementine. She was significant because she is one of the only people in LA that I made friends with on my own and not through somebody else. 

How do I meet so many people that end up being like family to me? It is so crazy. Sometimes it seems like people are in place so that I can end up knowing them. Maybe I am just overly sentimental and I read into my friendships too much. I don't know. I just know that I can't imagine going through this life without these people around me. 

I have had a best friend since I was 5 years old. Her name is Karen and we have nothing in common. Well, nothing on the surface, but we think alike and we have similar personalities, they just come out in very different ways. When I am insecure, I become a bitch, she becomes really sweet and tries to make nice with people so she can feel better. I push people away or get bitter and negative. She is, besides my sister, the absolute kindest person I have ever known in my life. She is so sweet and giving and loving and really accepts anyone for who they are.  She doesn't judge what you wear or anything superficial, she doesn't care about those things. She never picks at negative things, she always pushes the positive. She is loving and understanding and I don't even think I could write about her because it would take me 3 years to write a post that would capture our relationship and how I feel about her. 

Most people don't even know about her. We haven't lived in the same town since I was  10 or 11 but we talk weekly, sometimes daily. When she was pregnant with her first child we talked literally every single day of her pregnancy, sometimes 2 or 3 times a day. She says I was like her spouse during that time, I am so glad and honored I could be there for her when she was alone. I know how devastating that was for her. The story ended up like a fairytale, she eventually married the dad who turned into the most amazing husband and father, ever, and they now have another child and have been very happily married for over 10 years.